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Building Your A-List Support System!

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Having a support system is one of the most important factors in being an effective parent. Whether it’s your mother, father, sister, friend, neighbor, etc. Every parent must have people and places that they can depend on to support them as they raise their
children.

What is a support system?
A support system is a group of people and/or places that has made themselves available to help you and your family in areas of need such as child care, transportation, moral support, advice, resources, etc.

So who is your support system? Who have you enlisted to be in your corner to help you and your family? I know this may be a difficult task for some people but please understand that your life will instantly become more manageable when you decide to trust others to be a part of your life in a supportive way.

Here are 3 tips to help you build an
A-List Support System:

1. ASK for help! No one will know that you need help if you don ask them. Many people suffer alone and in silence when there was someone willing and able to help them through their situation if they only ASKED!

2. RECOGNIZE when people are in your life to help you and not to hurt you. Having trust issues can hinder your ability to recognize when someone is really looking out for your best interests and will cause you to ignore a helping hand! So don’t miss out on your help because you can’t recognize when someone is there to help!

3. BE OPEN to receiving help from people and places when you realize you need it. Being too proud to accept a helping hand will not help you or your family when in need. But being prideful will leave you suffering because you didn’t want a “handout”! Allow people to help you because EVERYONE has needed a helping hand at some point in their life. You are not the first and you will not be the last to need help!

So, let’s get started building your support system today. There are people who are willing and able to be there to support you and your family if you would only ASK, RECOGNIZE, and BE OPEN!

Coaching You Through It All!
YaSheema

Freedom In Your Family!

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I’ve had an insanely busy two weeks and finished it off with some family fun at a local festival before heading off to a week-long vacation. But all of this food, fireworks, parades and celebrations about our FREEDOM has made me think about when I decided to become financially free and start my company Renaissance Family Solutions, Inc.

Becoming free didn’t just mean breaking FREE from the typical day to day operations of the corporate world. But it meant becoming FREE to pursue my purpose and do what I am most passionate about…helping families achieve true FREEDOM in their homes!

*FREEDOM to raise healthy children;
*FREEDOM to discipline their children without violence;
*FREEDOM to build a support system that really helps;
*FREEDOM to have services that are needed; AND
*FREEDOM to build a successful family.

So for those parents, youth and families that I have had the pleasure of working with and for those that I have not…continue to seek true FREEDOM in your families and fill your walls with love, happiness, peace and harmony! YOU CAN DO IT!! Continue to have a great summer and contact us if you need help with anything!

Coaching You Through It All!
YaSheema

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Hats Off To Mothers!

     Mothers are an invaluable part of our world! They wear so many hats and I believe mothers have the toughest job in the world. Being a mother doesn’t start when your child is born and doesn’t stop when they turn 18. Being a mother never ends no matter how old your children are! I don’t know about anyone else but I still like to call my mother anytime for some motherly advice, comfort or just to hear her voice.

When you are a mother of a child who has special needs or disabilities, your job as a mother can get a little tougher. It will take understanding, compassion, support, hard work, advocacy and a unique set of skills to successfully parent your child to achieving great things in life. But it is possible–our guest speaker at the “Hats Off To Mothers” event proved that everything is possible! She let us know that no matter what the problem is–that we as mothers are the frontline defense for our children that can never wave their flags!!

I wanted to share some photos of my “Hats Off To Mothers” event in support of children’s mental health awareness week! If you have any questions or are in need of support or services for your family please feel free to contact us!! We can help you!!

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It’s Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week!

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I’ve spent the last couple of weeks attending and participating in mental health awareness events in the community. This week I will host my own mental health awareness event called “Hats Off To Mothers“. An event designed to celebrate and honor mothers of children with emotional, behavioral, and mental health issues. We are looking forward to this fun event with a guest speaker, poetry, prizes and food!

As a parent support partner, I’m always trying to help parents come up with ideas to help their children function better daily in all environments. So, I came up with these 5 Tips to Raising Mentally Healthy Kids:

1. Create an environment of love, acceptance , nurturing , support and compassion.

2. Find a circle of supportive people and places that understand and love you and your children.

3. Build up your children daily with positive words of encouragement and reassurance.

4. Advocate for the needs, services and rights of your children no matter what.

5. Improve yourself as a parent by continuing to learn, change and model.

Please follow me on instagram @yasheemathecoach this week and share all of the mental health facts posted and share with your networks throughout the week. Also use #mentalhealthawareness when you share the facts on twitter or instagram.

YaSheema
Your Family Change Agent
Coaching You Through It All>

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Putting Children First!

Originally posted on YASHEEMA MARSHALL:

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     In today’s society, parents can get so busy with their own lives that they allow their children to suffer!  Due to broken homes, distant families, divorces, economic strain, etc. many parents find themselves in predictaments to make some tough choices.  It is also due to these very issues that today it’s even more important to put our children at the top of our priority list.
There is no question that we as parents have to work and provide for our children because we did have them.  However, sacrificing quality time to work to provide for your family is not the same as sending our children to a sitter so we can hangout instead of spending quality time with them.
Of course as parents we need to have some “me” time but when you make a decision to have children, you have made a decision to put “them” first. …

View original 283 more words

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Putting Children First!

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     In today’s society, parents can get so busy with their own lives that they allow their children to suffer!  Due to broken homes, distant families, divorces, economic strain, etc. many parents find themselves in predictaments to make some tough choices.  It is also due to these very issues that today it’s even more important to put our children at the top of our priority list.
There is no question that we as parents have to work and provide for our children because we did have them.  However, sacrificing quality time to work to provide for your family is not the same as sending our children to a sitter so we can hangout instead of spending quality time with them.
Of course as parents we need to have some “me” time but when you make a decision to have children, you have made a decision to put “them” first.  So most of your time especially during those early years (0-6yrs.) have to be dedicated to preparing them for their big debut into the jungle called society.  I am definitely not saying that having children stops you from having a life but you should never sacrifice the care, nurturing and needs of your children at any time.  Here’s 3 quick tips to help you parent on the fly:

Tip 1:  Set aside at least 30 minutes out of the day to spend with your child doing some quality activity that they enjoying doing with you.   Try to avoid video games or electronics but if that is your best way to connect with them then have at it.  But remember to have fun and make memories.

Tip 2:  Develop a support system that allows you to work, pursue your dreams, attend classes, etc. Having key people that you can trust in place to help with your kids is priceless especially when life happens. These people have to understand your style of parenting and follow the expectations that you have outlines for your children.

Tip 3: Create a system where you’re able to enjoy life, pursue your dreams and still be the best parent to your children. This system will help you have the best of both worlds while attaining success in life.
But the most important thing to remember is not to sacrifice your children for your own personal life. Your children didn’t choose you…you chose to become a parent! So the least you could do is make sure they are raised with lots of love, nurturing and attention until they’re 18!

Coaching you through it all…one step at a time!

YaSheema

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A Few Keys To Parenting Your Kids Towards Success

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Today the solid foundation of the family is so bombarded with instability and insecurity that most children have no idea what to do, what’s expected of them, or where they’re going. One of my followers suggested that I blog about how to parent their child to be successful. So, here are my top and easy tips to remember about raising a successful child. But always remember to have an idea and standard for what your “success” looks like and means to you!

1. Parents must outline the five most important values that your child should stand on, explain these values to them (write it down if you have to) and model these values in your everyday life. Most parents just expect their kids to “know” the family values but have never discussed these values with them. For example, knowing and understanding that being a Christian should be a daily way of life that you’re children can observe.

2. Educate your child for life! I’m not talking about traditional education although it is very important to the success of your child to have a proper academic education. But what I’m talking about in terms of education here is the fact that parents must educate their children on the concept of life in general. We must create environments for our children that has an expectation of personal drive and responsibility, integrity, independence, self-worth, self-motivation and a sense of preparedness so that when they leave out of the front doors they can handle “life” and any part of it. We must constantly teach them and train them on what to do, when to do it, what not to do, who to do with and why? This is hands-on training that never ends! Life will happen whether your children are ready or not so get them ready to be successful at it!

3. Parents must guide their children in the direction that you want them to go in. You don’t forcefully impose all of the things that you didn’t do when you were a child but learn what their strengths and abilities are and gently guide them in the right direction. Stop letting your child dictate everything they want to do or don’t like to you. This gentle guidance starts early in the development of your child–not when they turned 12.

4. Parents must correct signs of a lazy and mediocre attitude in your child immediately! Don’t allow your child to sit around and stare into idiot boxes all day (tv, video games, tablets, etc.). They must learn that being productive is imperative to being successful at anything. If you have to create systems that helps your child learn how to be more productive, excellent and responsible then do so. Just because they are children does not mean that they cannot contribute to the household. Once you allow your child to think of life ‘half empty’ and bask in their laziness, this will begin a lifetime of laziness they’ll have to combat throughout their life. Push them to be better, do better and think better and they will!

5. Don’t forget to keep your kids connected to positive activities outside of the home. You can find these activities at school, daycare, church and in the community. Being a part of these activities can help your child learn various success skills that are very important to their life. Success skills such as how to be a leader, how to be a team player, how to negotiate with people, how to better communicate with people and how to engage in positive interactions with those outside of the family and in different environments.

These are just a few tips that I’ve learned from my own parenting experiences as well as the knowledge learned from others that can help when raising successful children.

YaSheema,
Your Family Change Agent

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How To Create A Safe Home Environment

Originally posted on YASHEEMA MARSHALL:

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APRIL IS CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION AND AWARENESS MONTH!

Today’s children are constantly surrounded by images of violence in this world whether it is at school on the playground, in the community, on the television or in video games but their homes should be a place of peace, solidarity, safety and nurturing. Unfortunately, for some children images of violence are just as prevalent in their homes more than ever but life does not have to stay this way. There are ways that parents can limit the images and impact of violence on their child’s life and start to create a safe home environment by implementing these 5 keys:

1. Understand your child’s developmental stage
Children are not mini adults that think logically, engage in abstract thinking or have the knowledge/wisdom to make good decisions all of the time. Frankly, sometimes parents’ expectations of their child’s mental and social abilities are not…

View original 811 more words

How To Create A Safe Home Environment

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APRIL IS CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION AND AWARENESS MONTH!

Today’s children are constantly surrounded by images of violence in this world whether it is at school on the playground, in the community, on the television or in video games but their homes should be a place of peace, solidarity, safety and nurturing. Unfortunately, for some children images of violence are just as prevalent in their homes more than ever but life does not have to stay this way. There are ways that parents can limit the images and impact of violence on their child’s life and start to create a safe home environment by implementing these 5 keys:

1. Understand your child’s developmental stage
Children are not mini adults that think logically, engage in abstract thinking or have the knowledge/wisdom to make good decisions all of the time. Frankly, sometimes parents’ expectations of their child’s mental and social abilities are not age-appropriate and lead to frustration and stress when the child is not responding in what they “perceive” to be acceptable. I believe that all parents should make it a point to study each stage of their child’s development so they understand what behavior is appropriate at what age. For example, it is important for the parent of a 1-year-old to understand that the child isn’t just trying to “test” them or being a nuisance when touching everything in the house but that it is necessary for them to explore their environment in order to learn. Learning what is age-appropriate development will help parents learn to respond to their child’s behavior in a more appropriate manner.

2. Understand what makes children angry
Adults are not the only people who get angry and express it in inappropriate ways. There are things that happen that make children angry and when they are not given the proper tools they will react inappropriately. Children will get angry/mad from infancy to adolescence and for very different reasons due to their developmental stage. Typically toddlers will get angry over not getting what they want, preschoolers will get angry when someone takes their toy, school-agers will get angry when they feel rejected and pre-teens & teens will get angry when they are socially isolated or feel inadequate. But whatever the reasons, it is necessary for parents to recognize what makes their children angry, validate their right to be angry and teach them the appropriate way to manage their anger. If we can understand what makes them angry then we can also make changes to their environment that can reduce frustration, anxiety and stress that may precede inappropriate expressions of anger.

3. Understand how to control your anger
It is not uncommon to see parents raise their children by the “do as I say not as I do rule” which causes a lifetime experience of confusion and hypocrisy. This basically means that a parent expects the child to ignore the lessons their parents are teaching by the behavior that they are modeling. This is often the case when parents become angry at their child and express this anger by hitting, yelling, throwing things, threatening, name calling, etc. When a parent does not know how to control their angry then they are basically inviting their children to model the same lack of control over their own anger. In order to control their anger when dealing with their child’s behavior parents can: 1. Take a deep breath before responding, 2. Think before you stink, and 3. Calmly respond (not react) to the situation.

4. Understand the difference between discipline and punishment
The average parent does not understand that there is a difference between punishing and disciplining their child. Punishing usually involves making a child feel bad, feel pain or humiliation for what they have done but doesn’t necessarily teach right from wrong to prevent them for doing it again. Discipline usually involves making kids feel better so they’ll behave better and training them to have self-control so they learn right from wrong and how to behave appropriately the next time. Overall, punishing is providing a temporary solution for unwanted behavior and discipline is providing an appropriate consequence to teach better decision-making in the future.

5. Understand the impact of media violence on your children
It’s 2014 and our children are growing up in the technology age where every part of their life involves some form of media influence due to their time with television, movies, gaming systems, music, computers, Ipods, handheld game systems, etc. However, it is still up to the parents to determine the age-appropriate amount of time that their child spends on media and the age-appropriate type of media their child is allowed to watch. Parents must monitor and supervise their children closely even when watching what we believe to be harmless cartoons as they may teach your children undesirable behavior. Parents must also understand that allowing their children to view tv shows, videos games or listen to music that shows acts of violence, lack of control, use of weapons, disrespect for human life, etc. negatively impacts their child’s thinking and behavior. Children and adolescence (especially when already dealing with emotional/mental challenges) are not always able to use logical and rational thinking as adults thus applying what they’ve seen or heard to real life situations. Therefore, it is extremely important that we have strict guidelines and limitations to media violence in our households. Parents should limit their children to no more than 30-45 minutes of screen time per day.

Although, we can add several strategies and keys to creating a safe home environment, if a parent can begin to implement these 5 keys into their family system it will have a positive impact on their children’s behavior and home environment.

YaSheema
Coaching you through it all…one step at a time!

CHANGE YOUR THINKING. CHANGE YOUR ACTIONS. CHANGE YOUR FAMILY.

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